Confessions of a Chicago Theatre Addict

You know how we do those things as children that we eventually look back on and shudder? I recall such a moment in the third grade.

My elementary school hosted a talent show that I somehow knew would be my entrée to the Broadway stage. Around that time, I had started to develop my fascination with the musical “Peter Pan” and the wonder that was Mary Martin, as CBS had recently re-aired the 1960 TV version of the hit Broadway production of the musical. I instantly fell in love, and I knew that it was my mission to realize a production number from that show for the Anna M. Besser School student body.

So, I gathered up four of my gal pals and began drilling them on the routine like a pre-pubescent Jerome Robbins, hidden in the back of the football field during recess. However, since I couldn’t secure Flying By Foy in the Besser School cafetorium (amatures), I had to make due, and use “skipping in circles,” ribbons (yes, ribbons) and jazz hands.

Every day for, what seemed like months, we rehearsed every recess, at times performing for a select group of lucky audience members such as the elderly recess aides (who actually knew who Mary Martin was – and this thrilled me.) At times one of the girls would have what they would think was a clever staging idea for my masterpiece, and I would try to tell them, in the most diplomatic way possible, that their idea was inferior. And they eventually agreed – my routine was pretty spectacular.

A week before the talent show, Terri, one of the girls in my group, filled out the form to enter our group into the show. All of a sudden, it became real, and I got very scared. However, I couldn’t let my group sense my fear. No way. I was the leader! We continued to rehearse.

Shortly after that, another girl brought my costume to our secret rehearsal space in the back of the football field. Of course, I was Peter, and I somehow forgot that Peter wore tights. This horrified me. I thanked her, and continued to panic internally. The clock was ticking, with the show only three days away.

Finally, the day before the talent show, I pulled my group together on the playground, and told them that I was deathly sick, and could not perform. It was the saddest thing I’ve done at that point my life, with their eager eyes looking up at me with such disappointment. And to this day, 19 years later, I still feel so horrible about it. We all worked so hard, and I had to let them down because I was scared.

However – could you imagine otherwise? Up there in my tights with Mary Martin singing, skipping in circles with ribbons? I pretty much would have secured my fate going forward. So, I look on that moment as “dodged that bullet.” I guess I learned that I need to think things through before fully acting on my passions. And I also learned that I can be pretty persuasive when I set out to do something – those four gals were pretty excited to be one of my lost boys, having never even seen the Mary martin Peter Pan before.

Sometimes we just have to keep our feet firmly on the ground rather than wanting to follow our dreams. That is, if we want to not get the shit kicked out of us.