It’s my special day!
Usually on Friday around 3pm, me and my business casual self trudge on down to the dusty vending machine featuring the saddest supply of foodstuffs one could possibly imagine (frosted honeybuns? Who actually eats that shit?)
I decided to give Grandma’s Mini Sandwich Cremes: Vanilla (artificially flavored) a shot.
And I struck gold! Two-for-one, baby.
As I sat back at my desk and updated my facebook status to generate instant envy amongst all 136 of my friends, I started eating the Grandma cookies.
Yuck and yuck. Yet, I’m lazy and enjoy free stuff, so I almost ate the entire bag. Also: I have no shame.
Eventually, I acquiesced to my tastebuds’ pleas. Salt to balance out the sick sweet artificial vanilla craptastic flavor was in order. So back to the vending machine to get my saltlick fix via Lay’s.
And – YOU GUESSED IT! Another TWOFER! Rock on, etc.
(Nevermind Negative Nancy waiting behind me in the vending machine line who shot me dirty looks when I jumped up shaking my fist at the sky/drop ceiling in victory. Neveryoumind her at all! She’s just jealous.)
It’s my special day.
I give you a picture to show that I’m not making up this good fortune that’s been bestowed upon me. This weekend is off to a fantastic start. And nope, I’m not sharing any of it.