1) If I’m running up behind you and say “excuse me,” please move over. Don’t just stop walking and stand there.

2) I love my remixed, running-friendly version of the Legally Blonde Remix. It’s my new power song.

3) Whoever lets their dogs just poop on the sidewalk and not pick it up should allow me to poop in their living room.

4) I totally almost stopped in The Golden Nugget for something golden and nuggetty.

5) If I passed out and died or got hit by a car, I don’t have my phone or wallet on me, and I would be categorized as a John Doe.

6) Is Roller Blading out? You hardly see anyone doing it anymore. Except the strange guy who rolled by me wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase.

7) I wonder if I’m running the same route as Blago. He lives by Ravenswood, afterall.

8 ) If I saw him, would I trip him?

9) Probably not. But I would poop in his living room.

10) I’m hungry. Slurpee at 7/11? Sounds good.