Revisiting my hometown’s newspaper

My fellow Alpena-ite — and dear friend — Jamie directed me to the top story in today’s The Alpena News:


I love this for a number of reasons:

  • The headline is about as eye-opening and newsworthy as “Autumn brings Colors and Crisp Weather,” or “Exercise, Combined with Diet, Proven to Reduce Obesity.”
  • In fact, the headline — and story — could easily fit in an issue of The Onion.
  • I feel like I now have a thorough account of the pros and cons of living on a farm (pros: no need to hush the children; cons: noisy roosters) vs. the city/suburbs (pros: medicine and stores; cons: noise, traffic and toxic air).
  • Mmm. Copy editing:

“It has to be a very difficult life,” Smith said. “It takes a very determined and dedicated person to invest into that type of life. It must be very rewarding though or else they wouldn’t do it. We couldn’t survive without the farmers. I wish everyone had their moral character.”

Zbytowski said he what the country provides his family. He has no intentions to move to the city.

I love the piece and quiet, and I love the freedom we have,” Zbytowski said. “The kids can play outside and we don’t have to keep them hushed. They can play outside, and I can do my work uninterrupted. In town there is just to much noise and to much traffic.”

Sigh. It’s a wonder I left there able to tie my shoes.

For related stories, see 100 things to do in Alpena, MI — which happens to be my no. 1 visited post on this here blog.

5 thoughts on “Revisiting my hometown’s newspaper

  1. I kind of feel like The Alpena News is more like a newsletter than a real newspaper :) Didn’t we go to school with Ryan Zbytowski, or am I making that up??

  2. Wait just a second there, Robert. You know how to tie your shoes? I must have missed that semester.

    Even more unbelievable, the photo caption says that Jan Smith lives in the suburbs. I have so many issues with that. First, by definition, that would make Alpena an urban area, which anyone who has ever been through the town knows is just not true. Secondly, it would claim that this suburban area would have city-like amenities (of course, even Alpena-proper doesn’t have most of these). Finally, most suburbs have a larger population than Alpena.

    Also, we went to school with Andy Zbytowski.

  3. Amanda – you raise some very valid points. I was going to mention something along those lines, but Jan Smith might be from the Chicago suburbs, let’s say, visiting. In that case, all of Alpena would seem very country like and serene to Ms. Smith in comparison.

    Although, I doubt that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s