I spend a lot of time in my home office — especially with a job that lets me work from home now and again. We have lots of shelves, and for some reason, we feel compelled to fill them with brick-a-brack, tchotchkies and momentos. Memorabilia, I guess you’d call it. (Quick — what’s that line from?)

It wasn’t until yesterday, during my work-from-home day, that I was like, “Hell! There’s a lot of crap on these here shelves!”

So, I thought I’d share some of the finer findings from our vast collection. And please, I don’t want Miss Niecy Nash knocking on my door tomorrow, so let’s keep this between you and me. Photos are followed by descriptions.

A prime example why Gator and I can’t have kids. Because just look what happens. While Miss Betty Buckley looks on disapprovingly, even. “Shut your mouth, Betty! Who are you to judge?”

Hello, I’m a showqueen. And to drive that point home, here’s a composite piece I put together years ago of my favorite showcards.

Dusty buttons from events of yore.

I think we all need a little Heloise on hand to provide innovative tricks to de-stink the garbage disposal (lemon peels!) or the best way to launder your lace tablecloth so it retains its shape (use a mesh bag!).

Should things go terribly south with our finances, we’re keeping these puppies on hand. Though, we’ll need a full tank of gas to make it up to Alpena, but the free beer’ll be worth it!

I think we all know who’s to blame for this foolishness.

Speaking of Gator, I’m only including this picture because it’s awesome. Nope, that’s not James Dean — that’s Gator’s (Gerald’s) dad’s senior photo! And next to him is a piece of marble I took (shhh!) from the Parthenon when I traveled to Athens a little over a year ago.

Remember: just between you and me.